E-assignment 3

1) Sonnet

There are many things, so absurd they are

That they often tend to confuse the mind.

Although just things, I'm not stretching too far

When I bluntly say, that they are unkind.

See there was a girl, heart was broke she said,

She went to doctors, hoping to be saved,

But her heart was fine, t'was big, strong and red,

Her mind was sick, of disorders they raved.

Heartbreak is a psychological ill,

Yet the fairy tale version is preferred,

But we are talking about heartbreak still,

Though we've already falsified the word.

The girl mentioned above, this is what she found:

The heart's just a muscle, pumping blood around.

2) Free-form: Näcken

Here is a man, see what he sees:

A violent river surrounded by trees.

A quick flash of memory, the lash of a whip,

Mind filled with dread, blood: drip, drip.

From a stone in the water his song can be heard,

The man with the fiddle, his riddle absurd.

The tune is enticing, luring and strong,

He fiddles in water, is that so wrong?

Son of the devil, spawn of the hells,

Drowning small children, or so the story tells.

But what lies yonder the eyes of the beast?

What comes to his mind, from what he sees?

A girl is approaching, led by his strokes,

Gets caught by the current, and away she floats.

Inspect our fiddler and what do we find,

Streams of tears running down from his eyes.

Playing non-stop, always in the nude,

Driven by forces he could not elude.

The slayer of children, destroyer of youth,

Thoroughly evil, but is that the truth?

3) Limerick

A lazy logger from London

Was punished though he'd nothing wrong done

For it was fate

That made the young girl late

Still he should have been wearing a condom

E-assignment 2: Dialogue 3

1 – Pssst! Hugo, daddy's gone, you can come out now.

2 – Thank you, Gretchen, your closet is kind of cramped... What was that book your father was reading to you? I quite liked it.

1 – Oh, it's Winnie the Pooh, but we haven't gotten that far yet.

2 – Can't we continue reading it on our own?

1 – No... I can barely read, you know that.

2 – Ah, a shame, we'll just have to find something else to do.

1 – But It's bedtime. I can't stay up for long; I should already be sleeping.

2 – Yes, yes, of course... Seems like the only time we have time to play is when you sleep.

1 – I'm sorry Hugo, but I have to go to school and do homework, you know.

2 – It's okay.

1 - … Hugo, Where do I go when I sleep?

2 – What do you mean, Gretchen? You just lie in your bed.

1 – Well, my body is in the bed, but where is my head?

2 – Attached to your body, hopefully.

1 – Haha, I didn't mead it like that, silly! I mean when I fall asleep it's like I disappear, and when I wake up, I can't remember where I was. Only sometimes but then it's all blurry and doesn't make sense.

2 – I suppose you go inside your head, then, Gretchen.

1 – But... isn't inside my head where I always am?

2 – Ah, but when you're awake you are constantly aware of the world around you, so you don't notice the world in your head. By the way, why are you asking me this?

1 – It just seems sad... We sleep so much it's almost like we are disappeared half our lives.

2 – But you have to sleep, Gretchen. Otherwise you would be tired all the time.

1 – I guess you're right... Do you sleep, Hugo?

2 – Ummm... I don't really know, do I?

1 – You never sleep when you're with me.

2 – Hmm...

1 – Where are you when you're not with me?

2 – I suppose I'm in your head, Gretchen.

1 – Really? Then why do you always ask me how school was when I come home? You should already know right?

2 – I think, then, that I must be sleeping inside your head when I'm not with you.

1 – Then where are you when I am sleeping? Are you sleeping inside my sleeping head? And if sleeping is being inside your head, then are you inside your own head when you are inside mine when I am inside mine?

2 – I don't think my head works like yours.

1 – What do you mean?

2 – We don't really come from the same world, Gretchen.

1 – Really? Then where do you come from, Hugo?

2 – I come from that strange place inside your head, and when you sleep, we go there together.

E-assignment 2: Dialogue 2

Three philosophers are sitting huddled together around a small, round table, passionately discussing the meaning of life when suddenly and without warning one of them breaks wind in a thunderous manner.

Lawrence - …

Maurice - …

Constantine - …

Lawrence – Who was that?

Maurice – Was it not Aristotle that said that the one who brings the question to attention is also the one most closely related to it?

Constantine – I believe it was Plato, but there is nevertheless some truth in the proposition, if one believes in the concept of truth, that is... By Kant! This odour is ghastly! Have you no morals whatsoever, Lawrence? Are you a closet-nihilist, mayhap?

Lawrence – In no way am I a nihilist, Constantine. But in this particular case, the case of passing wind, that is, I may actually be the one closest to the phenomenon, but not in the sense you gentlemen accuse me of being. The reason it was I who brought it to attention was most probably because it was me the dastardly odour impinged on most violently, me being the youngest of us and therefore, logically, having a younger and more acute sense of smell.

P2 – Ah, but Lawrence, there is a paradox in your reasoning. If you already had this argument in mind when you brought the... wind to attention, then you can be said to have consciously been the one to first comment on it for the sole purpose of this shifting the blame away from you.

Constantine – What Maurice says is, if not true truth, then at least probable truth. And even if your sense of smell is better than ours, I would argue that your mind is not. Your coming up with a consistent argument of reason before either of us did hints of your guilt, in that you must have started constructing one before we had a chance to. You must in all likelihood have had knowledge of the coming wind before its sound and smell got our minds running.

Lawrence – With all do respect sirs, I would like to propose that my gears may just be a tad better greased, if you pardon my metaphor.

Maurice – Ah, but there you are slightly mistaken. The effectiveness of the neurons in our brains has to do with the synapses between them, not their age, and I dare say that we have had more time to create a fast-working network of connections than you have in your short life.

Lawrence – Maurice, I see that this is getting us nowhere. Could it be that this is one of those questions for which rational thought cannot provide an answer? Maybe a bit of empiric endeavour could be the right solution for our problems?

Constantine – What are you proposing?

Lawrence – Constantine, you know what empiricism is, you have read the works of John Locke, have you not? I suggest we use our olfactory systems to seek out the source of this biological gas leak. What say you?

Maurice – For crying out loud, Lawrence! It was me, okay? I don't want to have your noses up my arse, and much less mine up yours. Couldn't you just take the blame like a good Samaritan?

Lawrence – Veritas vos liberabit, my dear Maurice - the truth shall set you free.

E-assignment 2: Dialogue 1

a) Two old ladies start chatting while feeding the ducks by a pond. They've met once before, but it was ages ago in a different part of the world and they don't recognise each other at first.

- May I sit here?
- Of course! Go ahead, dear, I don't mind.
- Thank you... Wonderful weather today!
- Oh, it surely is. We don't often have days as warm as these in Autumn. Got to take the opportunity to get some sun when it decides to come out.
- Indeed. People can say what they will of Britons being ungrateful, but good weather sure is appreciated; we flock to the sun like ducks to breadcrumbs! Here you go little fellow.
- We all like to have what we don't often get, I suppose. You ever heard of a Brit appreciating rain?
- As a matter of fact, yes, I've heard of several. But they're all living abroad, I'm afraid.
- See: the grass is always greener, the milk is always sweeter, and so on. A universal truth...
- You married?
- Happily so for sixty-two years. You?
- No... I never could settle for just one man, truth be told. Held on to one long enough to get me some children though. That's the best choice I ever ma-
- Shoo! Shoo! Away with you!
- Calm down, its only a duck.
- A duck may only be a duck when it's a few feet away, but I tell you, when my husband was young, he got too close and his finger was bit right off!
- Now ain't that quaint? There can't be many men that's been mutilated by ducks, and fancy me hearing of two during my lifetime!
- You heard of another?
- Oh yes, met him, actually. In Munich, this was, 1951, I if I remember correctly. A charming man, had a bit of a romance we did, and I must say: his nine remaining fingers had no trouble being all over me without the aid of a tenth! A shame he was in a relationship, though. Nice girl, a bit timid perhaps.
- Munich you say...
- Yes, lovely city. Ever been there?
- That's where me and my husband spent our honeymoon.