E-assignment 4

 Okay, so the text didn't come out beautifully when I copied it into the blog, but I hope it's readable anyway...

Abyss

The edge of the knife gleamed invitingly in the candlelight. When the flames flickered from the draft going through the house, it almost sparkled. But it wasn't time to use it yet, not before the incantation. I opened the book to the page where I had placed a piece of paper as a bookmark. I put the book down in front of me and stopped to check that the candles were placed correctly along the pentagram. Once satisfied, I cast my eyes down towards the text before me. I didn't really need it; I had learnt the incantation by heart weeks before, but I wanted it for moral support. I drew a couple of deep breaths and spoke the spell. Just like they had during my previous attempts, the flames from the candles grew, wildly stretching towards the ceiling. Tonight they seemed particularly strong, as though they were anticipating that this time it was the real deal. My eyes were transfixed on the knife, and when I finally reached out a trembling hand to grab it, it felt like time was moving slower than usual, as though the power of the spell was dilating time itself. I brought the blade to my chest, its point gently poking the skin of my solar plexus. I felt my breathing grow heavier as I tilted the knife, directing it slightly upwards and to the left, aiming it towards my frantically beating heart – I wanted this to be as quick as possible. I closed my eyes and went over all the rational arguments in my mind. It had to work because the candles were reacting as they should, the pentagram on the floor was correctly drawn and glowing faintly red, and the ritual had worked with the cat- it's body had disappeared. One... Two... Three... I felt only an instant of pain before my consciousness faded.

      When I opened my eyes the pain was gone. My right hand was still gripping the knife, its blade now drenched with blood that dripped down onto the cold, dark grey sand I was standing on. I moved my free hand to my chest and observed it as it coursed over smooth, unscathed skin. I couldn't help noticing that I was naked, but that was a minor detail now; euphoria was coursing through me like wildfire - it had worked, it had actually worked! I flexed my body and found that it moved much smoother than usual. I felt strong and full of vigour - and somehow graceful. I inspected myself in awe. All the scars I had acquired throughout my life were gone; hell, even the birthmarks and moles had taken a hike, leaving nothing but pure perfection. I noticed that I had not only healed, I had also grown. I was taller, sturdier. I couldn't help but feel majestic as I moved across the sand, its grains massaging my feet as I leapt and ran like a child, trying out my new, improved body.

      I don't know for how long I played around. I just know that it was long enough to make me grow tired of it. I sat down and took some time to get acquainted with my surroundings. The sand stretched out quite a distance around me, but not far enough to hide the fact that it was forming a circle. Around it and above me there was complete darkness, and I got a strange feeling that I was inside infinity, that there was an unlimited amount of nothingness surrounding me. It was a familiar feeling, but I didn't remember from whence the memory came.

     None of the books had mentioned what was supposed to happen now, and I was beginning to get a bit worried when finally loud laughter boomed and made me jump to my feet. Somehow I recognized it immediately as the devil's laughter, as though the memory of his voice had been buried somewhere deep inside me - maybe it was buried in all mankind.

• “Well this is interesting...” the devil continued.

      I looked around trying to figure out from where the words were coming but found only emptiness.

• “Identify yourself,” he continued, and I realized then that his voice could not be pinpointed to a specific location; it either came from everywhere, or it was inside my head.
• “Gary Smith, Oh great... exalted one?” I said, painfully aware of how shaky and timid I sounded.

• “Gary Smith?” He laughed again. “Fair enough. Well then, Gary, what brings you here?” He intoned my name as though it was a joke.

• “I... I wish to bargain with you... oh mighty, dark prince?”
• “Bwhahaha! I am just loving this, but flattery is unnecessary; I am already aware of my magnificence.”
• “Uh, Okay...”
• So you say you wish to bargain? What does a puny mortal like yourself have to offer me?” Again with the comical intonation.
• “I will join your army and help you secure your rightful place on the throne of heaven.”
• “Hahaha! This is hilarious! And what would you want in return, mortal?”
• “I want a life of riches and perfect health.”

      I heard a stifled laughter, and then silence. I got the strange feeling that he had gone into another room to laugh hysterically and get it out of his system.

• “A life of riches, you say.” he said upon returning. “I am sad to inform you that you are quite dead, Gary. I am terribly sorry, but that is usually the result you get when you drive a knife through your heart.”

      I clenched my fists and felt beads of sweat begin to form on my brow; I had expected some difficulty in dealing with the devil, but I didn't know that I would be at such a disadvantage. I swallowed hard, then answered.

• “Yes but... my body disappeared right? I'm not dead in the real sense, am I?”
• “Oh, but you are very dead in the real sense, you just ended up here, which is quite uncommon in these days... Had a cat here a couple of weeks ago, though.”
• “But I can go back, right?” I had to fight back the panic in my voice.
• “Hmm, the answer to that question would be... no,” he answered with feigned sympathy.

      I gasped. This was not at all what I had anticipated. I weighed my options and gathered courage.

• “But I can still bargain, right?”
• “Why, of course, Ga'v- Gary. As I'm sure you know, I do love to bargain every once in a while.”
• “Then what are my options?” I asked with my eyes downcast. The hopes I harboured for being able to go to heaven was on a subatomic scale, but I held on to it for dear life.
• “Those that come here generally know what they're in for, you know. You haven't noticed that you are standing on a testing ground? Here soldiers are tested to see if they have the necessary skill to become generals.”
• “So... that is one of my options?”
• “Mortals have only two options. To take the test, or to dissolve into the void. If they take the test and fail, they also dissolve into the void.”

      Despair was washing over me like a cold shower. The little hope I had dissolved - into the void, probably. The test was most likely one of combat, and who knew how the devil tested his subjects. I considered for a moment the choice of just disappearing, so I could have it over with, but I felt the newly acquired strength coursing through me, and it turned the hopelessness to rage.

• “Fine! I'll take your test!” I shouted and was immediately shocked by the power in my voice; it almost paralleled that of Lucifer himself.
• “Yes! Excellent choice, Gary,” he said. “The test is simply... to kill your mother.”
• “Wha-” I began but was interrupted by a flash of dark-crimson light. I was blinded and had to shield my eyes with my hands. Peering through my fingers, I saw that the light-source was a sphere, hovering mere metres away from me. As it grew in size, its sinister luminosity grew with it. After a few seconds, my mother was spewed out of its centre and landed awkwardly in front of me, dressed in nothing but her night gown.
• “G-G-Gary?” she stammered and looked up at me as the sphere behind her imploded into nothing. “Wh-wh-what is-”

      I felt the urge to laugh and gave in to it. Did he really think that I would fall for this?

• “Nice try,” I said and turned my eyes upwards, “but only the dead can enter this place, right?” I had read it in every single book and text referring to travelling between the planes, it was practically common knowledge.

      Lucifer laughed. “Correct, but for you, Gary, I am willing to make an exception.”

He was just trying to put me off, this was a test, after all. I turned to my fake mother and raised the knife. Just a test.

• “Gary? Is that you? What are you doing? Gary?”

      Even though it was an illusion, the image of my defenceless mother lying in front of me, confused and scared, had a paralysing effect on me. I could not bring myself to strike her down.

• “Gary, where are we? Why are you naked? Gary?” Tears began to fall as I looked into her tired eyes, those same tired eyes that on countless occasions had smiled at me when I had come creeping into my parents' bedroom after having bad dreams as I often did in my younger years. I could not look at her. I closed my eyes.
• “What are you doing with that knife, Gary?”

      I brought the blade down forcefully, but without the aid of my eyes, my aim was off. I felt the blade hit something hard and stick. My mother started screaming. I opened my eyes and saw that the blade had stuck halfway through her forearm; she had brought it up to protect itself. I yanked the blade free, but it was stuck so hard that she was dragged down to the ground before it came loose. Gripping her wounded arm, she curled up into a foetus position. Listening to my mother's screaming voice was so excruciating that I thought I would go insane if it carried on for much longer.

• “Stop it...” I whispered under my breath. I squinted my tear-filled eyes so that I could see the outlines but no details of the agonized apparition lying in front of me. I thrust the knife down. This time the blade went through its ribcage, deep, without a doubt puncturing a lung. The voice kept screaming, only now blood was furiously gushing from her mouth, making her screams spasmodic, lowering when muffled by blood, rising when it was choked out. It was like listening to a morbid advertisement jingle selling slaughter. My jaw was clenching so tightly that I was close to crushing my own teeth. “Stop it,” I repeated as I made a stab at the side of her throat. I could feel the sharp blade slide through the muscles and sinews that were meant to keep her head steady. The screaming ceased, but the grotesque gurgling sound that replaced it tore like barbed wire on my already tormented mind. “STOP IT!” I shouted as grabbed her hair and pulled her head backwards. I drove the knife out, making a clean cut through her Adam's apple. After that, she lay quiet and still, but it was no peaceful image to observe; the body of my mother was so broken and bloody that she looked like a squished insect. I dropped the knife, backed away a few steps and turned my back to her. Lucifer's laughter echoed all around me, engulfing every inch of the abysmal world. I thought it would never stop, but it did.
• “You still have no idea what you are doing, do you, Gary?” Lucifer asked me, without a doubt amused. “In any case, you passed the test. The commander general will be here shortly to escort you to the training grounds. I'm sure you and Jesus will have a lot of things to talk about.”
• “Jesus?”
• “Naturally. He carries all the sins of mankind: where do you think he belongs?”

      Fatigued and somewhat shocked, I sat down to wait. I had almost forgotten the corpse that lay but a few metres away from me, and when I glimpsed it, I quickly faced away.

• “Aren't you going to have this... thing removed?”
• “Calling your own mother a thing? I have a feeling you'll fit right in here. But of course, I will send her back to her bedroom. I'll make it look like it was your father who killed her,” he laughed. “In fact, I'll make it so even your father will believe he did it.”
• “You're bluffing,” I said boldly.
• “Believe what you will, but what kind of test would this be if it weren't your real mother? You need a tainted soul to serve in hell, and boy, yours has now been sufficiently fouled. You gave death to the one who gave you life.”

      I don't know for how long I sat staring down into the sand, every now and then picking some up and slowly letting it run through my fingers. I tried to tell myself that it had not been, could not have been, my real mother that I had so brutally slain. It was a violation of the rules. But the devil doesn't play by the rules, does he. My peripheral vision picked up a faint white light coming from the distance. The light was shaped like a man. When he walked, white stepping stones appeared to meet his every step. As he walked onto the sand, I saw that the white light was only skin-deep and faint, seemingly constricted by the now visible violent black flames that enshrouded him. He stopped a few feet away from me. I looked up and found those familiar dark-brown eyes that could make madmen sane and the most savage of beasts whimper. I gazed into their depths and remembered. The kingdom. The incarnation. My mission. I gaped dumbly, tears of despair flooding down my cheeks turning the grey sand black. He opened his mouth and spoke with a voice like flowers in bloom.

• “Ga'vriel, what have you done?”